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Published On: Mon, Mar 28th, 2016

Somaliland:UCID: Vacancy for Presidential Candidate

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UCID-11-300x225Faysal Ali Warabe announced that his party is candidate-less for quite some time. The party is looking for candidate that meets the requirements below:

The applicant regardless of his faith be it Shite Muslim or Hindu must be capable of to fuel the party’s bottomless expenses.

  • Must have 50 million USD on cash basis, willing to pay to the chairman whenever he asks without ifs and buts
  • Must be gentleman and more generous than Jamal Ali Hussein
  • Shouldn’t be graduate even in primary but businessman who wants to make money out of politics
  • He must professionally greedy and more demanding
  • He should be artist and a kind a moron but with inherited wealth
  • The applicant shouldn’t be Habaryonis, by definition, Habaryonis are ineligible for they’ve no money
  • He could be reer Guled, Edagale, that’s preferable
  • The candidate shouldn’t any way handshaken Iro in his entire life
  • The candidate must accept the five-year period contract because the party unlike other political parties is always for sale
  • The tribe of the candidate is a factor that denies or approves his candidacy
  • His age must be between 56 to 79 years old
  • The applicant could have criminal record or Wahhabi
  • The applicant shouldn’t be Cise Muse
  • The applicant must be pro-government and be friendly to their candidate
  • The applicant shouldn’t be from Harvard University, because we learnt lesson from Jamal Ali, they don’t give money as they’ve CPAs and very calculating.
  • Candidate can be Wahdad or Timawayn or even from ISIS, as my child got highly paid job of 12 digit salary more than Harvard school of Business alumni
  • You can disable, blind or armless but with high liquidity to lubricate my rough palms.
  • You can be from Kismayo or even from Gondor but open-minded with monies.
  • You can’t be Yale graduate and penniless, if so don’t apply it even if you’re UN SG Assistant for African Affair since the party needs monies.
  • The applicant must be power hungry who made millions of dollars, let’s say 40 million, out of people’s suffering, and famine aid given by Kuwait.

If the candidates fail to fill up  the vacancy within two months 1: am in local Salaxlay or Oodwayne timings, the post automatically cancels itself, and Faysal Ali Warabe is the legitimate candidate for the UCID by law. The VP candidates can be Jamali Ali Hussien until he gets his money back.

I am Faysal Ali Warabe, UCID possessor who announced this vacancy without taking any cash from anybody. The distractors are free to say whatsoever they want, but I did this out of patriotism and love of my tribe.

Your applications will be began to be accepting 1:am, the job opportunity is for those citizens who make cash pee . But for your information, whenever your money decreases in level and we realize that because Hawalas tell about it, I kick your ass as I’ve the right to do so. This is my café I run it with my *ick. This party is looking liquidity candidates and investors to compete with Wadani party, not Kulmiye, but I am the biggest shareholder by law, therefore, I dismiss any other shareholder no matter how much money invested in the company.

If your moms are Caasha qushi or home care worker in the EU tell her to buy the job for you, this is an opportunity for lifetime. I banned any broke from sending his file to me. poor folks are bad and ugly, if you are poor in third-generation like me, don’t offend me as with your application, I hate cashless masses.

Remember the auction if not submitted your bid in the right order, that’s Oodweyne way, will trashed immediately! The party is one-man party neither listens to tribe nor to board of advisor,  so your opportunity to win the job is so high. Remember if your money is small like Jamal, I will fire you from my party, it is all about making money and nothing else. I came from the West to make quick bucks.  Much of the revenues of Jamali Ali Hussien’s hire-purchase contract went to Oodweyne and Salaxlay to alleviate the drought. Thank you Mr. Jamal for uplifting the party out of mud. I love you so much. I still remember when you put your deep down in your pocket, pulled out blank cheque, and asked me to write whatsoever amount i wanted. I spoke to my cousin Hussien Adan Tanzania the first Somali ever done doctorate at Harvard University to know if he has similar size of cash to buy the party. but he didn’t. Mr. Jamal, history will treat you with mercy as most successful candidate in Somali history.

The first year in office, you’ll sell the Grand Mosque cos Issaaqz ceased to pray regularly. Masale is enough, and also you transfer the airport to small European firm that brings Filipinos and mass fire locals cos they can jobs easily.  Qool-caday can be nuclear dumping ground but we tell people as zoo and reserved grassland. In addition, each year, we start rain-refusal prayers to go to Kuwait and collect money, this small rain poured in Sanag narrowly escaped to derail Kuwait multimillion aid project. We will copy president’s scare tactics. Things are in good shape.

Jamal have done his shot, I made famous across Somali speaking territory, he should be grateful, café in Kismayo knows him. But as Jamal politically died, I pay him tribute and do proper burial, singing “your monies were tasty, your ideas were great, but I will be missing you….”  I also chased Iro for all possible means and avenues. He escaped. But I am so smart, look at how I announced the vacancy to get the best possible candidates from pool of qualified cash haves. I must expand the horizon of search of candidates to include my son the highly success crusader in Syria. My son, do have money? don’t overstay, I will talk to the US to clean your name. I want you to inherit the party when I die.


Ali Faysal Ali UCID Owner(XAQLE) and Boss

My SEAL ……, I will rule the party from the grave even if I die

American Recruitment Consultants International Incorporated , Kaboni, Syria, Detroit, Michigan

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